Choice of three watches featuring the greatest artist ever witnessed by humans: Hannah Montana. This deal of the day is $4.99 each. Sale ends at midnight tonight (EST).
Hannah Montana: Great performer, or greatest performer?
I’m going to go out on a limb here. Hannah Montana, aka Miley Stewart, aka Miley Cyrus, is the greatest performer ever to exist in the history of mankind. There, I said it. It’s out there. And it’s undisputable in my opinion (MJ who?). She’s like Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, and Brittany Spears combined into one family-friendly, Christian-values, too-young-to-have-drug-or-psychological-problems package. And she commands legions of pre-teen hormone-heavy girls (and a few pockets of femmy guys). Love her or hate her, she’s a force you can’t ignore. Can you imagine what would happen if she organized all those girls into a fighting force bent on world domination? Who would stop them? One trip to her concert at a stadium full of screaming, crying tweens and our army would be in shambles. That’s why, due to the pending take-over by the Hannah Montana drone army, we’re making a peace offering, so when you take over the world and pronounce Miley Cyrus as your Queen and Overlord (or Overlady?), you’ll remember my kinds deeds and make me a duke of some smaller province (I’ll take California). Today’s daily deal is three (count ‘em. Three) Hannah Montana watches. Choose one and wear it everywhere you go as a reminder of your favorite teenage pop star. And when 20 years go by and all the fame and attention has turned her into a strange, introverted, emotionally disabled shell of her former self, you can look at this watch as a reminder of better days (days when she was young and vibrant and hadn’t yet subjected mankind to a population of slaves forced to build her empire…ah, those were the days).
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